Testing nukes underground, spraying naled above ground

CNN: Five Things for your New Day
Friday, September 9, 2016
Happy Friday, all. I'll be off all next week and various folks will be filling in [Wait, what? -Editor]. Here are the 5 things you need to know today to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door:
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1. North Korea

North Korea's conducted another underground nuke test, and this one may be its most disturbing: it says it successfully tested a nuclear warhead. This blast unleashed the equivalent of about 10 kilotons of TNT. (The bomb dropped on Hiroshima was 15 kilotons.) North Korea has steadily improved its capabilities since it started tests a decade ago. So the chances of it producing a functional nuclear warhead and putting it on a missile are getting better - and scarier.

2. Zika

Miami was to begin aerial spraying this morning to kill Zika-carrying mosquitoes, and residents are NOT happy. They're worried that naled, the main chemical in the insecticide, is a health risk (it killed millions of honeybees in South Carolina, after all). Health officials say, Pshaw, naled breaks down when exposed to sunlight or water and very little actually reaches the ground. All good, right? Not really. Across the pond, an EU review of naled came to a different conclusion

3. Wells Fargo

Maybe we all should just put our money in our mattresses. Wells Fargo has fired 5,300 employees -- about 1% of its workforce -- for opening up 2 MILLION fake accounts!  Employees moved $$ from customers' accounts into new ones without permission. The bank then charged customers for insufficient funds -- because there wasn't enough money in their original accounts. And the alleged scam helped staffers boost sales figures and earn bonuses. Shady, shady.

4. Texas school shooting

Yet another shooting at a school. This time, it was a 14-year-old girl who wounded a fellow student and then killed herself. The freshman moved about six months ago to Alpine High School in west Texas and the sheriff described her as "a very good student." So, officials want to know what prompted the attack. The wounded girl will be OK. So will a Homeland Security agent who was accidentally shot by a US marshal as they rushed to the scene.

5. Alps rescue

Dangling 12,000 feet in the air. Overnight. In the Alps. Thirty-three people found themselves in that position in France, when their cable cars got stuck. A fleet of helicopters from France and Italy were used to ferry people to safety. Originally more than 100 people were stuck, but most of them were rescued during the day. The remaining 33 had to stick it out through the cold night before they were picked up early this morning.

Breakfast Browse

People are talking about these. Read up. Join in.
Another 'Armegeddon?'
NASA just launched a spacecraft to chase down a (potentially) dangerous asteroid, but this time Bruce Willis isn't around to play hero if things go south.
#WhatisAleppo?
Don't worry Gary Johnson. You're not the first presidential candidate to nearly torpedo your campaign with an epic gaffe.
Roses of love
A high school football team shows support for a cheerleader fighting cancer by placing 57 orange roses at her feet before a game.
Hot tip
If you still have a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 somewhere, please don't bring it on a plane. They might catch fire (remember?), and fires and planes don't mix.

What's for lunch

Here's what's coming up later.
The 15th anniversary of 9/11 is Sunday. We have some powerful pieces coming, including rarely-seen raw footage from filmmakers who were with first responders inside the World Trade Center during the attack.

And finally ...

Friends Theme (Metal Version w/ Rob Scallon)
'I'll be there for YOUUU!!!'
What does a heavy metal version of the "Friends" theme song sound like? It's just as irritating as the original. (Click to view)

This edition of CNN Five Things brought to you by Doug Criss.

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